How Do I Tell My Son That His Biological Father Is My Elder Brother?
I got this mail recently from a woman and I am publishing it with her permission requesting that you offer her your advice. Here goes her letter:
Princevinco, my name is Ogechukwu and I am writing to say that I am in a deep mess and wish that you help by offering me your advice of what to do to come out of this mess, the mistake I made thirteen years ago.
While growing up as a young girl I was hopeful that I would surely get a befitting man to marry me. This came true as I met this young man by name Chris in an occasion in Lagos where I was living with my parents then. The young man was living in America and flew to Nigeria for that occasion. The young man got interested and proposed marriage to me.
Two months later, he came to see my parents and made his intention known to them. After, he gave a large amount of money to his uncle to take care of everything concerning the traditional aspect of the marriage since his father was a busy man.
After all the traditional marriage aspect was met, the wedding was then fixed. That wedding day was the happiest day of my life but later turned out to be worst and unhappiest day I will never forget in my life.
It happened that D-day of the wedding, we arrived at the church before the time and were all sited in the church both me and Chris waiting for the time to reach for the officiating minister to commence the wedding program. My mother was sitting in the front roll.
While we were waiting, Chris father arrived with his wife at the church. The MC announced that Chris father has arrived and that he should come to the front roll to sit with his wife.
When they came to the front roll and my mother cited him, she screamed: “Pastor don’t wed this two people”. After that she screamed, she fell down and fainted which resulted in confession everywhere and she had to be rushed to a hospital as she became unconscious.
The pastor refused to go ahead with the wedding insisting that my mother must be conscious to explain herself, why she screamed that he should not wed us. He called off the wedding that day. I was so devastated and bitter against my mother that day.
The following day when my mother regained consciousness, the pastor went to see her to interview her why she screamed that I should not be wed with Chris? The result of the interview was a shocking and turning point in my life. My mother explained that she was equally the biological mother of Chris, the groom.
In other words, Chris and I share the same biological mother as she gave birth to both of us meaning that we were brother and sister. The father of the Chris was called upon and he confirmed that his present wife was not the biological mother of Chris.
Chris father further explained that if he sees the biological that he is not sure if he will be able to recognize her. He further stated that he can only remember her name and went ahead and mentioned her names.
Incidentally, the three names he mentioned were the names my mother was bearing. My mother then explained what happened and the circumstance of how Chris was given birth to in Chris father’s house
Chris father Chief Mathew accepted and confirmed the story of my mother was true. To show his remorse, he asked my mother for her forgiveness for abandoning her after the birth of Chris.
To make up for what he did to my mother, he used about N2 million to convert the patent medicine store of my father to a pharmacy. However, Chris father equally insisted that the younger brother of Chris will take over to marry me since I was already with a child for his elder son.
I accepted and the next Saturday of that week, we went to the church and the pastor privately wedded me with Joseph, the younger brother of Chris. That is how I ended marrying Joseph as my husband but was already 7 months pregnant for Chris my elder brother.
After two months, I gave birth to a boy and Joseph accepted him and claimed him as his son even though his elder brother was responsible. After, Chris started relating with me as his younger sister and Joseph my husband as his younger brother.
Since I and my husband are his younger brother broth and sister, he warned that he would never be happy to hear that we quarreled. Together with his father, they set up a business for my husband with over 5 million naira.
That is my story and after I started marrying Joseph as a husband, we were blessed with two boys and a girl plus my first son. We were all living happily and I forgot that I ever had $ex with my elder brother.
However, my son who is now 13 years old came home one day from school and requested from me that I should tell him his biological father, that they mocked him at school that he didn’t know his biological father, that my husband Joseph he called his father was not his real biological father.
I shouted angrily at him that day for saying that and he started weeping and asked me if it is wrong for him to know his biological father. Please, I am in a fix of what to tell him. He is growing up and if I fail to tell him the truth and he later founds out, he will grow up not trusting me.
However, I fear that if I tell him the truth, he will as well grow up despising and hating me that my elder brother was his father. Please kindly offer me the suggestion of what I should do, how I should handle this matter.
PS: Please kindly offer her your advice through comments
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