Are You An Alpha Wife? By Ijeoma Igwesi

Hello, my fellow mother and wife, kindly help to answer the above question sincerely. Speak the truth as much as it lies within you and out of what you know about yourself.

By the way, who is an alpha wife or how do you know one when you meet her? Good question! I will answer that by listing some of the attributes or characteristics of an alpha wife as follows:

1. She is always out doing something, aiming at an outlandish achievement, no matter whose ox is gored. She stops at nothing to ensure she achieves her objective.
2. She is comfortable only when she is in charge in the home.
3. She takes the lead in family discussions and in taking decisions that concern everybody and indeed anybody in the home.
4. She likes to teach her husband what to do and always feels that he is incompetent or incapable of doing anything right without her.
5. An alpha wife does not care what she says to her husband in the public or how she says it.
6. She prefers to be the one to introduce both her husband and herself when they go out together.
7. Her children have no say in the family as she talks about them, decides for them and even takes action on their behalf irrespective of their ages.
8. Furthermore, her husband is just an additional child in the home to be mothered, led, instructed and directed, not out of love but out of suspicion that he will take all the wrong turns if left alone.
9. The husband must not engage in any transaction with anyone else without her approval, otherwise, she will see to it that she foils the venture.
10. The alpha wife never takes instructions from her husband and will hardly, if ever, take no for an answer to any of her requests.
11. In fact, she does not make requests, rather she passes orders and issues decrees, which must be followed by every member of her family (if there must be peace in that home).
12. As a Christian, Ephesians 5:22-24 is either non-existent in her Bible or holds no appeal whatsoever, therefore she neither reads that portion of the scripture nor practices it.
13. An alpha wife does not believe in showing love to others through affirmation, attention, and affection but she would expect others to shower her with these.
14. She is simply the boss while her husband, children and other members of her family are the subjects.
These are just some of the characteristics of an alpha wife. My question comes again: are you an alpha wife? I am sure you know yourself and must have heard your husband and probably others who may or may not be members of your family make comments about you.

What are they saying about your relationship as a wife and as a mother in the home? Are you a boss or a lover and a mother?

Hello dear, it might still be okay to be an alpha female in your office, business, career or any other place, depending on the position you occupy in those places, but to be an ALPHA WIFE, no way!

Why? No man, not even the most timid or naïve one wants a boss for a wife. An alpha female may do well as a politician, actress, musician, businesswoman, etc.

The marriage relationship is meant to be between a man and a woman wherein one is masculine, bearing all the masculine tendencies and attributes; the other is feminine, bearing all the feminine tendencies.

The earlier you stop being the masculine in your home and become the feminine you were created to be, the better for you and for all of us because the state of your family directly or indirectly affects the entire society – especially the church.

It does not matter how fat your bank account may be, your social status and connections, your age, even if you are older than the man you are married to, you are still the feminine in that relationship as ordained by God.

Don’t let all the talks about gender equality and women liberation crusades rob you of your God-given position in your home – the wife.

The husband being the masculine by nature should be more aggressive to get things done, he is the initiator, mobilizer and risk taker in the home. The feminine tendency in the wife positions you to be the receptor, that’s why he was the one that asked for your hand in marriage in the first place.

Don’t turn yourself to an aggressor. Even if you are the goal-getter in your family, which is not out of place in many relationships, you should still go and get the goals but let the man be the man.

Lovingly nudge and propel him to take the lead; project him to be at the front end to outsiders, although at home both of you know who is really behind the wheels.

Love for your husband will make you desire to see him being the best and not you trying to outshine or cover him. Your strengths should cover his weaknesses and not expose them.

That’s why God brought two of you together. Play your role as the wife with love and tenderness and, I bet, you will see even the most docile man turn into a splendid role model and goal-getter.

Nothing robs a man of his ego like insults or humiliation from his wife. And a man without ego is better described as a spineless woman; he lacks focus, has no enthusiasm, is bedeviled with a lot of secret sins and can be summed up as a failure.

I am sure no woman, not even you, desires such a fellow for a husband. Remember, your husband is your covering; the Bible says he is your head (Ephesians 5:23, 1Corinthians 11:3).

Furthermore, the Bible says that you came out of him; you were created for him and not the other way round (1Corinthians 11: 8-9). What then is your boasting?

What are you proud of? 1Corinthians 7:34 said that a married woman’s concern should be how to please her husband. Are you pleasing him by being the boss ordering him around or insulting him? Please think about this and make amends.

Ok. What if I succeed in dropping the overbearing title of alpha wife and instead become an alpha mother, is there anything wrong with that? Let me leave you to think about that in line with your roles and responsibilities as a responsible mother.

When you might have thought it over, I will revisit it for further clarifications. Before then I would like to hear your opinion about this alpha wife issue.


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